My husband and I have three boys and we wouldn’t change it for the world. My boys are crazy and dirty, high-energy and fun, but also snuggly, sweet, emotional, and so funny. They are obsessed with poop and farts and LOVE playing in the mud and on the dirt pile behind our house. They always ask to ride bikes and they play monsters with their friends a lot. There hasn’t been one thing I haven’t absolutely loved about being a boymom. But sometimes, I wonder what it would have been like to have a girl…
We were so excited when we learned that our first baby was going to be a boy, back in 2015. Then 21 months later, we weren’t disappointed in the least when we had another boy. When it finally came time to have our third child, people often asked if we were hoping for a girl this time. But truthfully, we were relieved to find out it was another sweet and rambunctious boy to add to our family. When I was pregnant, I often wondered if I would even know what to do with a girl. I know it was mostly just fear of the unknown. If any of our kids had been girls, we would of learned how to take care of them and loved every minute of it. But now, when I get asked if I am disappointed about having all boys, my answer is always a resounding, “No!” I haven’t ever had a deep longing to have a girl. I don’t remember dreaming as a child about the day I would have a girl of my own. So even with our three boys, I wasn’t sad about what I was missing out on… until recently.
I have recently started thinking about my future. What will my boys look like 10-15 years from now? I wondered if I would regret not having a girl when my boys are fully grown and we have less in common. Will I wish I had a girl to go shopping with? Will I be sad about not getting our nails done and having deep heart-felt conversations? How will it look when my boys go to have babies? Will they still need me around to help? As these questions piled up, I reached out to my friend, fellow boymom (whose boys are amazing adults now) and Rochester Mom contributor Jodie Meurer. Her responses gave me such reassurance and were simply too good to keep to myself.
Here is a recount of our messages:
Me: Hi Jodie! I have a boy mom question: Lately I have been thinking about what it will be like when the boys are grown. At one point someone said that having a girl is like giving birth to a best friend. Would you say that is the same for boys? Do you feel like that is also true with your boys? I guess I’ve been wondering if I’ll feel left out and lonely when the boys are adults and we don’t have anything in common and they don’t need me anymore.