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Rochester Local

Do Not Swing a Wet Diaper Over Your Head

I learned some very important lessons the other day… although I wish I hadn’t.

1. Do not under any circumstances swing a wet diaper over your head.

2. If wet diapers are swung through the air, they will release all of their absorbent material.

3. The pee-soaked absorbent material is sticky and will adhere to a variety of surfaces.

4. You will keep finding pee-soaked absorbent material everywhere for days on end.

You may be wondering how I came across these gems (or if you’re a parent maybe you aren’t). I have my son to thank for this unfortunate but memorable experience. My son was getting dressed in his room… by himself… for what seemed like a very long time. (That should of been my first clue.) When I went to go check on him, I found him on the verge of tears while frantically trying to find and stuff all the white fluff (pee-soaked absorbent material) into his empty pillowcase.

At first I was dumbfounded. I didn’t even really know what I was looking at. But after he told me what he’d done (swung the wet diaper over his head), I quickly jumped into action.

This is where I learned the last few vital lessons:

5. A vacuum works well for picking up the white fluff but you’ll need something wet to use for wiping down the walls.

6. Make sure you find and dispose of all the pieces of pee-soaked absorbent material because I don’t think I did and his room kinda smells now. (But I’ve heard baking soda can help with this.)

7. Write this story down in his baby book and save it for his graduation, wedding or induction into some important organization because laughing about it and planning out well-timed revenge is the only way through some days of this mothering gig.

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