From time to time, Rochester Mom will publish posts anonymously to protect the author from sensitive information shared with our readers.
Being a mom is chaotic, and exhausting. There are days when all I crave is some peace and quiet. Being a mom also means being very hands-on. My day is a constant barrage of children sitting on my lap, begging to be carried, touching my face, and stepping on my toes. The concept of personal space is non-existent. So, needless to say, dear husband – sex is the last thing I want… in fact, don’t touch me.
Don’t touch me unless you’re going to give me a massage without expecting something in return. Don’t touch me unless you’re going to tap me on the should and offer to do the dishes. Don’t touch me unless you’re going to give me a kiss and tell me to go take a nice hot shower while you put the kids to bed. Unless you can realize that I am working really hard to raise our family and do not have the energy to do anything other than snuggle on the couch, don’t touch me.
However, I might consider letting you touch me if you asked me about my day and actually listen beyond imagining me naked while I gave my answer. I might let you touch me if you used your words to tell me how grateful you are for me, what a wonderful job I’m doing, and that supper was delicious. I might let you touch me if you made an effort to take some chores off my plate, instead of complaining about the ones on yours. I might let you touch me if you weren’t constantly touching me – by the way, please stop touching me!
My dear husband, I am ever-so thankful for you. There is no one else I would rather do life with than you. And our children are a blessing that I thank God for everyday. But this season of life is hard and our young kids are so exhausting. Their constant need for physical touch makes me so overwhelmed that by the end of the day, I just need you to keep your hands to yourself. I’m not saying this is a forever thing. Of course, I want you to want me. I want you to think I’m attractive. I want to have a thriving marriage. But I also want some personal space. I want to feel productive and get a few tasks done without being reminded of your needs as well. I want to sleep. I’m tired. I’m too tired for anything extra right now. So just for right now, don’t touch me.