Originally published February 2016
In October of 2012 we learned that our little family of 3 would soon become 4. We were so excited! In June 2013 we proudly welcomed a healthy baby girl whom we named Courtney. She was absolutely perfect. We took her home and started living life as a family of 4. Her big sister Kaitlyn was so proud of her and loved showing her to everyone she could. My maternity leave came to an end in September and I went back to work full-time.
By the middle of November everything was about to change. On November 19th, my day started like any other day of the week. I got up at my normal time, got ready for work, took a shower and remember wanting to sit down and then I passed out. I woke up and remember telling myself I need to get out of the water so I don’t drown. I woke up my husband Jason and told him I needed to go to the emergency room. We immediately dropped the kids off at daycare and made our way to the emergency room. When we got there they gave me some fluids, did an ECG and sent me home. They told us that I was probably dehydrated since I was pumping for Courtney and that I just needed to rest. So that’s what we did. Later that day I went into the bathroom and Jason went to check on some laundry. While he was downstairs I passed out again, he heard a thud and my dog started barking. Jason rushed upstairs and found me unresponsive on the floor. He called 911 and performed CPR until the ambulance and the police department arrived. I have no memory of what would happen in the upcoming days.
Jason called our families and told them to meet us at the ER. In the emergency room, many things took place that I am not capable of understanding. Maybe I didn’t want to comprehend everything because it was so difficult to hear, or because it makes me realize how close to death I was. The medical staff helped Jason make some critical decisions that would help keep me alive and make a plan for the near future. Days later I woke up in the cardiac ICU. I was intubated and had several tubes coming out of me. I was very confused and scared. I had no memory of what had happened, and I needed clarification. The doctors explained that my heart had failed and I would need a heart transplant. I had been diagnosed with Postpartum Cardiomyopathy. Postpartum cardiomyopathy also known as Peripartum cardiomyopathy (PPCM) is a deterioration of cardiac function that can present during the last month of pregnancy or up to a few months afterwards. If it is detected earlier enough it can be treated but in my case it was detected so late that my heart would not be able to recover. Some of the signs and symptoms of this can be lighted headedness, fatigue, excessive weight gain, racing heart beat and chest pain. Looking back I did have some of these symptoms and I just didn’t realize that they could lead to something like this.
When I woke up I can remember just wanting to see my kids. I wanted to hug them and kiss them and tell them how much I loved them. I was sure they were scared but I was worried they would be even more scared to see me this way. I really wanted to get better and go home. Courtney was only 4 months old and I didn’t want to miss all of those important events of her life. Kaitlyn was old enough to understand that mommy was very sick and I needed to tell her it was going to be ok.
Days went by and I received my transplant on December 10th 2013. It was a very challenging road to recovery. I had to regain my strength so that I could walk and be able to do basic self-care things so I could go home and be with my kids and husband. Once I was able to go home we had a big adjustment to deal with. My life would now be full of appointments, medications, and trying to stay healthy. I also wanted to make each day for my girls be as normal as possible. I wanted it to be normal for myself and Jason too
It has been 2 years since I received my life-saving gift, and I couldn’t be more grateful. I was able to take Kaitlyn to her first day of kindergarten, be there for all of Courtney’s first steps and her 1st birthday. I now have the chance to celebrate holidays with my family, watch my niece and nephews grow up, and spend time with friends. All of these things could have been so easily lost, and they are definitely things we take for granted in our busy lives. Each of these people hold a special place in my heart and I value every day that I get to be here on this earth with them. The most valuable things I have learned from this are to not ignore how you feel, put yourself first sometimes, and live the best life you can.
This post is part of a series called “Journey Together” written by Rochester, MN moms who are bravely living out their individual stories. Click here and here to read other posts in the series.
Sara is a fulltime mom, wife and career women who wants to remind other moms that it’s ok to put yourself and your health first. She lives in Rochester with her husband Jason and her daughters Kaitlyn and Courtney.
