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Rochester Local

What Better Time to Try Out Therapy Than During a Pandemic

therapy couchTake a deep breath in as you look towards the trees,” the yoga instructor said as the socially-distanced participants willingly obeyed. 

Although it was a hot and humid summer morning and my mask was uncomfortable,  the breeze coming off the Zumbro River felt glorious. Holding our poses on our yoga mats, we stared out at Mayo Park from the patio at the Rochester Art Center. With calming music in the background, the instructor introduced another pose and started saying encouraging mantras. I can’t remember exactly what she said but it was along the lines of, “You’re doing the best you can in the given circumstances we are all in.” I instantly was flooded with emotions, and about to burst into tears! Tears of relief. I have been repeating that phrase to everyone I know over these last several months, but never accepted that for myself. We are all just doing the best we can. 

I think all the encouragement and breathing got to me. Once I realized that I was so close to being THAT emotional woman sobbing in a yoga class, I decided it was probably time to check in with my mental health.

I have been taking a small dose of anti-anxiety medicine for the last 7 years and it has been working out great! I am able to focus, stop cyclical thoughts in their tracks, and actually try new things instead of allowing fear and anxiety to make decisions for me. But as you all know, this year has been haaaaaaaaard. This pandemic quickly exposed all the dire issues we need to confront and tackle in our homes, our parenting, in our schools, our workplaces, our cities, our society, country and world! It is a lot, but also crucial. 

I know that although this world is experiencing the same pandemic together, everyone’s battles are different and vary in degrees of hardship. We also all react to this differently. Some people are frozen in place when overwhelmed. I am the opposite. I feel like I need to do anything and everything I can to hold this world together. I started to notice I was getting very anxious about Zoom meetings, panicking after reading headlines, becoming irritable with my son and husband, and waking up in the middle of the night stressed out about something I had no control over. I was also deeply missing the physical presence of my support system. I just really want a long hug from my dad and kiss on the cheek from my mom. So I decided that I was going to make my very first appointment with a local therapist. I have always been an advocate for mental health awareness, therapy, and medication. I have encouraged several friends to look into all 3 options. It is just the first time that I personally had no more excuses. Many counseling services are currently virtual due to COVID-19, so logistics were no longer an issue.

It was super easy to make an appointment, and before I knew it I had 5 minutes to click on a link and be face-to-face (virtually) with my new therapist. I was FREAKING OUT! I was so anxious and sweaty. It is so nerve-wracking for me to meet someone for the first time in normal circumstances, but for the first time via webcam?! Talk about awkwardness! I posted a photo on instagram with my nervous face and a caption that said “You know you suffer from anxiety when… you’re super anxious to talk about it for the first time in therapy”.

An hour later I was so pleased, relieved, and excited. I met a friendly face and realized pretty quickly that I knew the things I wanted to talk about… eventually. My therapist was encouraging and asked real, meaty questions. She let me go on tangents and I didn’t feel like I was being interviewed. Everytime we laughed together my anxiety started to fade away.

Afterwards I quickly closed my ipad and jumped into a virtual work meeting. It was less than ideal, but it worked out seamlessly. Eventually when I checked my phone again I was flooded with such encouraging messages from close friends and social media buddies. They cheered me on in my new journey with therapy, expressed interest in doing the same, and also commiserated with me about the anxious feelings beforehand. Besides that one time in yoga class, I finally started to feel a little bit closer to everyone else around me. 

I am excited to continue pursuing therapy. I am excited to learn how to cope in this new world and eventually dive into things that have shaped me into who I am today. It might not be for everyone, but I think it is worth a try. It’s important to remember that not everyone will click with the first therapist they see or during their first session. Some of my friends have had to try different therapists until they found the perfect fit. It’s ok. You will be ok. It will be ok. Right?

Ok mama, so now you can take a deep breath in, look towards the trees, and know you’re doing the best you can in the given circumstances we are all in.

*Not everyone can afford therapy, but there are several places and resources you can tap into. If you are a student, many academic institutions provide free counseling for their enrolled students. Some workplaces offer free or discounted counseling for their employees. Some clinics offer a sliding scale fee based on your income. You can also look into 211.org or United Way of Olmsted County for other local mental health resources and support. 

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