You Deserve it, Mom!


mom with flowersThe other day after a hard day’s work, I decided to take a long, hot bath. I announced to my significant other that I was going to take a bath – that I’d worked my tail off and I’d *earned* it.

Then I thought to myself, do I really need to earn the right to take care of myself? We mothers do this all the time – we justify our self-care. I’m taking a nap because I deserve it. We are going on a date night because we earned it.

This pandemic has taught us so much about self-care and wellness. Why are we still justifying this to ourselves and to those around us? Why are we taught that taking care of ourselves should be the absolute last priority, or reserved for special days such as Mother’s Day and birthdays?

You don’t have to wait for Mother’s Day, your birthday, or your anniversary. If you need to rest, rest. If you want to take a hot bath, take a hot bath. If you need to book a massage, book a massage. If that means that some of your housework won’t get done, I’m sure it will still be there. If that means that you will be properly taking care of your mind, body, and spirit – then DO IT. Don’t justify it. Don’t explain it – not unless you’re celebrating it.

I know, I know – this goes against the narrative that has been indoctrinated into our mom-minds: we have to be working and serving and caring for others and cooking and cleaning every waking monent of every single day. This, my mom friends, is an utter lie. Your wellness is more important than any chore that needs to be done in your house.

Read that again:

Your wellness is more important than any chore that needs to be done in your house.

If you’re well, everything in your house runs more smoothly. Your kids see you taking care of yourself. You will have more capacity to do all of those things that need to get done if you are *well.*

So, what helps you to stay well? Here’s my list:

  • Yoga
  • Playing guitar
  • Naps (lots of naps)
  • Running
  • Painting
  • Reading

Your list may include things like spending time with a close friend, getting a massage or a mani/pedi, getting your hair done, having a spa day, or going on a hike.

It’s time to start celebrating the things that we do to care for ourselves instead of justify it and say that we deserve it or have earned it. Of *course* you deserve it – and you don’t have to earn the right to take care of yourself.

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Amanda is a lifelong resident of the Rochester area (except for a brief three-month period in which she tried to live in the Metro area, but the traffic was a bit overwhelming. Please don’t make her go back there). When she's not navigating the labyrinth of parenting a teen (Noah, born in 2004), a tween (Bethany, born in 2006), and an elementary student (Bradley, born in 2010), you can find her rocking out as the worship leader at Homestead Church, and with the band Winterstate. Amanda’s other hobbies include going on Paranormal Investigations, reading, painting, and sleeping. Follow Amanda on Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram.