We all know what we like to see on social media. But even more—we’re pretty keenly aware of what we don’t want to see as we scroll through our online playgrounds. If I wrote a manual on what’s “too much” and what’s received with a “yes, please” on social media portals, you’d be bogged down. And you’d be inclined to tiptoe around your *personal* social media accounts. I’d have to give myself a big slap on the wrists, because the key to anything that holds your name is this: authenticity. You are the best representative of yourself (hopefully), so I’ll let you make those calls. Instead, let’s look at some brief case studies to consider as you ask yourself, “am I being true to myself on social media?”
I’m sure you’ve met these ladies before…
Belinda the Bragger will let you know about her new car, her new ‘do and her new digs. All of the awesome restaurants she visits on weeknights have garnished drinks and food that’s always drizzled with a decorative something-or-other.
We don’t like Belinda. Well, maybe that’s too harsh. We like Belinda in person most of the time, but why does she have to announce every nice thing she gets to enjoy? Sure, we suspect we might be envious of Belinda, but really we’re wondering “does having this stuff fill her up?” Honestly, Belinda (and even us) take a snap of that cheesecake with glee. I mean, come on. That beauty isn’t gonna last and it absolutely must be commemorated. Granted. But if you’re noticing that your feed is full of STUFF, let’s revise what’s worth commemorating corporately. Our friends can rejoice over that cheesecake that celebrates a hard-earned anniversary or a hard-lost ten pounds. But your Thursday dessert may not be something we can all jump up and down for. (But by all means, yes, please take a picture of that gorgeous chunk of sweet cheese.)
Oh, Debra the Downer. (You SNL fans know what I wanted to name her!) Debra lost her keys, wants to punch the dude that cut in front of her, and dropped her phone in the toilet. (But how was she able to tweet about it so quickly? one wonders.) While life is constantly coming up roses for Belinda, Debra can’t post a single happy thing—except for the occasional silver lining that falls flat at the end of her status updates. We support Debra at first but then suspect she either has the worst luck or the worst outlook. Either way, updating her status from bummed to cynical isn’t helping her much.
Ironically, Debra isn’t getting the attention she needs when she needs it. You see, Debra may actually think her one-liners are a bit of dark humor. She’s sick of the fake niceties you see across the web. I get it, Debra. But I promise we’ll be more sympathetic if your posts catch us off-guard. We will give you an electronic fist bump to fight the power when it really counts, but we can’t tell amidst your numerous sulky complaints. Chill a bit. Breathe. And reach out for support when you could really use it.
Political Polly is the queen of shares and re-shares. Though we admire her passion for policy—both existing and exiting ones—we’ve become a bit numb or skeptical of her posts. Are things really that bad? What are these odd online sources? But hey, Political Polly sure seems to know what she’s talking about… at least she’s adamant enough to seem so.
The truth is that we need voices in the wilderness like that of Political Polly. It’s so easy for us to get sucked in to our little lives with little awareness about what’s going on in the world. Facebook should not be your news portal… but everything is talked about on the playground. Let’s curb those comments as we would in conversation. Before sharing a staunch stance, let us hear it from you. Prep your shares with your personal take or experience that has lead to your need to proclaim. We may not agree with your view, but this way, we can remember you as the person we love (or kinda like).
The key to authentically portraying yourself lies in giving us a well-rounded, honest picture. Most of us don’t see the faces we see on Facebook on a regular basis. We’re missing the nuances that fill the gaps—your facial expressions, your tone… heck, even your hair and make-up look the same every day! When you consistently post one on subject, we come to know you as a caricature. That’s what online socializing looks like most of the time—a caricature—but remind us of who you are and show us what your life looks like and that two-dimensional image will gain depth. Take a photo of the messy dinner prep along with the gorgeous finished lasagna. Show us the family picture taken on the couch and not only the one amidst fall leaves in an open field forty minutes out of town.
Authentic community is something we all deeply desire. The internet may not be the optimal place to find it, but it is a very real component and extension of our relationships. Aim to show who you are and not what others expect of you. Aim for listens and not likes. Aim for friendships and not follows.
And if you wouldn’t blast that status update via mass email to your coworkers, family, friends, and high school ex-boyfriends, then pause. Don’t err on the side of over-airing. But do share your life with us. Everyone on your friend list cares about you on some level. We want to see what’s new—I mean, why else would we be on Facebook in the first place? But more than seeing what’s new in your life, we want to see the person developing. We want to see that gal we love through her good days and bad.
Your social media account is yours only. Go and have fun with it and make it yours!
