Sprayed in the Face by a Bidet


bidetWe’re living in crazy times. So crazy, that I bought a bidet and got sprayed in the face with it. Twice. But let’s back up a bit…

I know everyone has strong opinions about the toilet paper shortage and demand. To be honest, when I heard that many countries are currently quarantined to their homes I thought I should probably go to the store to get some essentials. My first item on my list was toilet paper, but I only bought one package. I was shocked at the sight of empty shelves at the store. 

Fast forward one week and the toilet paper craze hit full panic mode. I still only have one untouched package of toilet paper sitting in the closet, but as someone who has to frequent the bathroom often for digestive issues (sorry… TMI?) toilet paper is a real concern. But let the record show that several months ago when I started swapping out products for more eco-friendly alternatives, I had toyed with the idea of getting a bidet. They claim to be a more efficient and sanitary way to clean your bits and help you to use less toilet paper. They also help with hemorrhoids (talking to you new mamas). 

However, I have never used a bidet. Like many Americans, the idea of a bidet was hard for me to wrap my mind around. I have traveled abroad and stood in many hotel bathrooms staring at the contraption, wondering how it worked. I asked people around me and they knew just as much as me. Nothing. I knew water sprayed from somewhere, but how forcefully? Are you supposed to face the wall or sit like normal? Do you still use toilet paper or drip dry? You know you’ve had the same questions!

So a while back I had searched on Amazon to see the prices and look at some reviews. I was so pleased with the cost. Most bidet attachments were between $30-$60 and had thousands of excellent reviews. I watched several youtube videos to see just how easy they are to install and also and the logistics for spraying yourself down. I bought a basic one for $37 and excitedly told my husband. He was not as excited (which is typical) and recommended to buy one with a heated water setting. I ended up buying another one based on his smart tip since we have two toilets at our house.

Last night the package arrived and I was so eager to use it. My skeptical husband sat down on the bathroom floor reading the instructions and hooked it up within 10 minutes. The adapter connects to the water supply for the toilet tank so our concern about dirty toilet water shooting at our hoo-has was quickly put to rest. 

“Ok wife, have a seat,” my husband said as he pretended to be Vanna White on Wheel of Fortune gesturing to the toilet with a smirk on his face. I pulled my pants down in front of my toddler and husband and nervously turned up the dial.

I felt… nothing.

I could hear the water spraying but didn’t feel anything. So I stood up, pulled up my pants, and grabbed a cup to catch the water spray while I messed around with the settings. Welp, I was soaked and had bidet water dripping off my glasses and all over my sweatshirt. My husband and I burst into a fit of laughter! My son was very concerned and confused.

Sprayed in the face by a bidet
Sprayed in the face by a bidet

So after I dried off, I sat back down to give it another shot. Nothing! I could hear it but felt nothing. So I peered between my legs and got sprayed in the face… again!!!

Initial thoughts? I haven’t laughed this hard in a long time. But seriously, it really works and is nothing to be afraid of. I do recommend getting one with a heated water setting… because it is quite… chilling. I recommend getting extra little pads to attach to the bottom of the toilet seat to prop it up a bit. The reason why the water wasn’t hitting my tushy is that it was slightly misaligned.

Here are the answers to my previous questions:

  • Sit like normal on the toilet
  • You have control of the pressure (and temperature if you invest a little more)
  • Use a little bit of toilet paper to pat dry

So get a bidet! It’s fun! And very exhilarating! You will feel alive and refreshed!

Here is a YouTube video with more information: Use a Bidet for a cleaner BUTT! Work on ANY Toilet! Benefits, installation, and review!

Please note: Since buying two bidets from Amazon at the beginning of March, the availability has significantly decreased and prices have increased. I still encourage you to place your orders and they will be delivered once available. You can also look into a company called Hello Tushy (adorable name, I know. WARNING: DO NOT SEARCH FOR IT ON GOOGLE WITHOUT INCLUDING THE WORD ‘BIDET’).

Luxe Bidet Neo 120 — Basic Model

Luxe Bidet Neo 320 — Heated water settings

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Erica Ross
Erica was raised in Stillwater, MN and never thought she would leave the Twin Cities area. However, this extroverted librarian was on the hunt for a new challenge. At the end of 2018, she convinced her high school sweetheart, their two-year old son Milo, and their three cats to move to Rochester. She has been having a wonderful time exploring the area and later sharing her treasured finds with loved ones. In her spare time, Erica is constantly binging audiobooks and podcasts, wrangling her toddler, working on sassy embroidery and trying out new recipes (but dreads the clean-up). She has decided her new life’s goal is to convince friends and family, one by one, to move to the charming city of Rochester. Follow Erica on Instagram @ericarossmn


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