We are in the home-stretch! This is the last blog in my series entitled ‘A Dietitian’s Guide to Effective Feeding’. We have already discussed some important stuff like – Ellyn Satter’s Division of Responsibility and The Importance of Family Meals. In this last post, I will be breaking down some practical tips for common childhood feeding issues. I will make reference back to previous posts from the series so I would suggest you read those first if you haven’t already done so. You can find them here: A Dietitian’s Guide to Effective Feeding Part 1 and Part 2
Common Childhood Feeding Issues
Picky Eaters – Our kids know exactly how to get under our skin. They push all the right buttons and their timing is impeccable. Picky eating habits can be one such scenario that throws us over the edge. It can feel like a battle at meals just to get them to eat anything. No matter what you try, the attempts continue to fail… Insert meme of mom pulling out her hair here. Take a walk, scream into a pillow, soak in a soothing bath – do whatever you have to do to get the frustration out but let’s start fresh.
I want to start off by lightening your load. I completely understand that as parents we want our kids to be the healthiest they can be. To that end, we can feel responsible for what a child puts in their mouth. As I hope you have gleaned from part one of this series, it is not your responsibility to get your kid to eat anything; you no longer have to carry that burden. Some children are quick to try new foods while others are more cautious. However your child handles new food, it is okay. Likely it will change anyway. It is completely normal for children’s preferences to change from day to day… or from meal to meal. It is simply them testing their boundaries and learning what they like. Experimenting is normal!
I cannot predict how long you will deal with picky eating habits but there is one thing that research has proven very clearly, putting pressure on kids to eat certain foods or amounts of foods will likely be counterproductive. As I mentioned in Satter’s Division of Responsibility, it is your responsibility to put foods on the table but it is not up to you how much or of what the child chooses to eat. Kids are built to experiment. They want to push themselves in regards to their eating. Often times simply removing the pressure will allow them the freedom to try (and not like) new foods. Be prepared for this to take some time!
Here are some things you can do:
- Make sure to have at least one food you know they do like at the table for each meal/snack.
- Make foods you all enjoy. If you get in the habit of only making foods they will eat, they will never learn to eat anything else.
- Offer bread and butter with meals just in case nothing else is appealing to them for that meal. This will actually help them feel more comfortable trying new things.
- Have fun topics ready for dinner conversation so that the food isn’t the main focus.
Weight concerns – It can be scary when your child’s weight seems out of control (up or down). This is when it might be easy to start applying some pressure to encourage them to eat more or less at meals and snacks. Even though I know our motives are good – I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, putting pressure on kids to eat certain foods or amounts of foods will likely be counterproductive. If you are truly concerned, it is perfectly reasonable to seek medical advice to ensure there isn’t a more pressing reason for the weight changes. Once disease and other risks have been ruled out, I would suggest going back to Ellyn Satter’s Division of Responsibility. Children know what they need and they will grow at rates that are right for them. Some children will grow more at some times than others. Short-term weight changes often balance out and over time result in steady growth that is perfect for each child. This is a very basic explanation of a sometimes very complicated topic. Please reach out if you need more specific assessment and direction!
Desserts/”Junk Foods” – Along with research showing that pressure of any kind is counterproductive, being too rigid in the desserts/”junk food” department also lends itself to some negative behaviors later on. For example, if children are not allowed to eat desserts or “junk foods” at home, they will find other ways of obtaining and eating such things – most of the time in secret. If there is no guilt associated with these foods, they won’t become “forbidden foods” that kids are tempted to binge on later.
You may notice whenever I use the term junk food, I put it in quotations. My reason is that the term “junk food” inherently labels those types of foods as “bad”. Simply labeling our foods as good and bad can reinforce the feelings of guilt we are trying to avoid. I am not suggesting we throw caution to the wind and stop having regular, balanced family meals in lieu of foods low in beneficial nutrients. I am in fact saying the opposite. It is within the structure of our family meals and sit-down snacks that desserts and “junk foods” can be strategically integrated to provide a beneficial exposure.
Here are some examples of how to incorporate such items:
- Have cookies and milk for a snack sometimes.
- Pair chips with a sandwich on occasion.
- Make one (child appropriate) serving of dessert with supper a regular occurrence a few times a week.
- Sometimes offer fun treats at snack times just because.
It may seem strange that a dietitian is suggesting you offer cookies and chips as part of meals and snacks but I believe food is more than just physical nourishment. Yes, we need it to survive but it is so much more. Food is emotional, social, behavioral. It can make us nostalgic. It has the power to soothe and empower. Food is something kids need to experience and appreciate.
This concludes ‘A Dietitian’s Guide to Effective Feeding’ – the 3 part series. I hope I have touched on some of the hot topic issues. If you have specific unanswered questions, feel free to reach out to me as I am happy to help!
