It’s easy for my husband to recharge his mind – and not feel bad about it – by hunting for a long weekend or golfing 54 holes with his boys. But, why do I feel guilty about spending time away from my 21-month old to take care of myself?
Maybe its because I know his schedule best and its easier if I just manage it. Maybe its because time away costs money and as a stay-at-home-mom (SAHM), I’m not financially contributing much. Maybe I don’t want to be a burden on those who watch him. Or, maybe its because I simply love being around him so I just don’t travel alone.
But, raising this boy is hard work.
Redefining my identity is hard work.
And, keeping my marriage and friendships healthy is hard work.
SAHMs don’t get PTO or vacation time, but we also physically and emotionally need time off. Even though my family took quality trips together this winter — my husband noticed a need for “mom alone” time to reflect and recharge. He encouraged a husband-free, no kid in tow trip so I flew to Phoenix, Arizona to visit a dear friend … just me, my small carry-on and purse (yessss, a purse! Not a diaper bag!). My trip was liberating.
I did things I’ve never done, things I miss doing, things I’ve wanted to do and things I love doing. I moved more slowly and mindfully. I came home feeling grounded, refreshed and more grateful for my marriage and my son. Yes, I deeply missed my boys, but knew the time away was healthy for everyone.
My Highlights from Phoenix
- Sat under a pergola alone, sipped cold lemonade and soaked in 80’ sunshine while I blogged
- Went to bed early AND slept-in AND didn’t feel bad about it
- Window shopped Kierland Commons and strolled nowhere in particular
- Pampered myself with a pedicure, manicure and massage
- Conversed and sat in silence with my bestie
- Wandered around the Desert Botanical Garden
- Ate fresh, local food and worried about my meal only (check out The Mission, Olive and Ivory and True Food Kitchen)
- Finally read half of “Mindful Birthing”
- Practiced mindfulness with no pressure to stop
- Hiked at my own pace (Overton Trail has lower elevation and a gradual incline – great for baby bumps)
- Laughed – oh, so good for my soul! – reminisced and dreamt about life
- Splurged on an Austin Tencil army green jacket
- Sipped on hot cups of coffee uninterrupted
- Gazed at the clear blue skies framed by mountains
- Visualized my family of four as I anticipate baby #2 due in July
You may not emotionally be ready to leave your little ones, but when you are, don’t second guess your need to recharge. If an out-of-state trip is not be possible, consider a long weekend up North, a night away to a new or favorite spot — or even an afternoon off. You deserve it. Whether you’re a SAHM, part-time or full-time workforce mom, parenting is hard work and we’re better parents if we take care of ourselves first.
Take a break and book that trip for YOU!
I’d love to hear how it goes and how you feel before, during and after a trip alone. Drop me a comment below!
