I was working full-time when we learned I was pregnant with our second son. That was when I began the process of getting licensed to become a family childcare provider. My oldest son spent his first two years in daycare and I remember the mixed-feelings I had. On the one hand, I loved our daycare provider! I never had any concerns about leaving my kid in her care because she loved him as if he was her own. But on the other hand, I wondered if he even missed me. I would sometimes think, “Does he even know that I am his mom?”
From the time he was about 18 months old, he would kick and scream when I came to pick him up from daycare. It tore my heart out because I had spent all day at work missing him, but he seemingly didn’t even care that I had left – and he surely didn’t want to go home! I was so glad he loved it there but it made me feel replaceable.
Having been a daycare provider for over a year now, I have a different perspective. I’d like to write an open letter to all parents with kids in daycare:
Dear Parents,
Your kids do miss you! They always watch you leave from the window yelling, “Bye Mama, Dada!” When you are gone from sight, they notice. There is not a day that goes by that you are not the center of their imaginative play. They use your names as the main characters in their make-believe. The girls play “mom” and the boys become “dad”. I hear them repeat phrases that I am sure only come from you. You are who they want to be!
At meals, they will sometimes get quiet, close their eyes, and say, “I love you Mommy and Daddy.” It nearly makes me cry. The conversations we have at meals consist of all the fun things your family does together. “Mom took me to get a haircut.” “Dad and I swam together.” We do fun things at my house, but the things you do together are by far more special because you are there.
When they get hurt or are sad, they cry out for you! I hold them and love them the best I can, but I am only a substitute for you. You are irreplaceable to them! They know who you are and they know I am not their mom. They love me but I am not you. They sometimes call me ‘Mom’ by accident because you are who the look to for everything. Your kids do miss you – trust me!
Sincerely,
Daycare provider
