It was the day after my oldest daughter was born. I was sitting in our hospital room with my husband looking at our beautiful brand new baby. She was perfect, and I wanted to show her off to everyone. Except that I could not. I had established before she was born that no one, except our parents and siblings, could come see her in the hospital. I was very strict about hospital visitors. I even had my mother-in-law convey this message, which she did, to all my husband’s family. She mentioned that they may be disappointed, but she is wonderful and very graciously shared my request with them. My parents also conveyed this message to my extended family.
I actually had a good reason to be cautious. The Crohn’s medication that I took while pregnant weakened my immune system and my doctor had advised us to be cautious, as my daughter would also be immune suppressed. As it was flu season with the risk of visitors being sick, I decided to play it safe and limit the amount of visitors.
Fast forward to the day after my daughter was born, my parents, in-laws and sister-in-law had gotten the opportunity to see our baby. However, my sister and her husband were stuck in a snow storm and could not get to the hospital (an hour away) to see our baby. So with just a few visitors, I began to wish I had left the invitation open to others. I expressed my sadness to my parents and in-laws and they quickly picked up their phones and invited other family members to the hospital.
I’m not saying every mother needs to invite everyone they know to the hospital. Many moms choose to limit the visitors after they give birth, and this is totally acceptable. However, I am a person who loves being surrounded by people, and I wish I had considered how wonderful the occasion would be to share with others. I also wish I had trusted that the members in my family who were sick would keep their germs at home.
Having a baby is a scary experience. Every mother wants to protect their child from the moment they are born. I anticipated this when I told many family members they were not invited to the hospital. I wish though, that I had been a little more open to sharing the moment with others. I’m so happy that in the end we did get to share our baby with lots of family members. There is nothing more exciting than showing off a tiny new human to the people who will help you in the journey of parenthood.
