My husband and I purchased our first home in Massachusetts in 2004. It was half of a duplex that had been maintained, but not updated. On two teacher’s salaries, we didn’t have the cash on hand to pay contractors to do any improvement work, but we did have time in the summer to complete projects ourselves. We dove into home improvement head-first, with pretty much zero experience. We relied heavily on daytime hardware store employees (typically the best time to go for actual help and guidance, as it is often retired contractors working the day shifts) and online tutorials. We are both readers, so we often read multiple library books or online accounts of similar projects so we had varied ideas of what we might encounter.
Fast forward fifteen years, and we have accomplished many projects together, from window installation to digging a french drain system, to building a pergola. Has it always gone perfectly? Absolutely not. Has it gone well enough that we keep at it? Absolutely. Here are two sets of tips, first from myself and then my husband, that we hope will help you and your DIY partner! We each wrote our own tips without knowing what the other would share, so here goes:
From Kahla:
1-Designate which partner is the Person In Charge (PIC)
For every project, we have one of us who is in charge/the project director. That person is looked at as the expert and planner. In our relationship, I am the PIC for all painting projects and many of the gardening and landscaping projects. Justin is our PIC for anything building-centered and woodworking. Having a person in charge of each project makes it easier if you happen to have multiple projects going on simultaneously. The PIC is responsible for buying all supplies and getting materials organized for the project.
2-Talk through the day/project before you actually start the work
Talking through the tasks for the day helps the PIC communicate what they have been planning in their head so that the “worker partner” knows what to expect. This is also the time for the worker partner to ask clarifying questions (in a non-judgmental tone, of course) that are usually taken much better now than in the middle of the project when you are struggling to hold up a beam and say something like, “What are we doing with this?!”
3-Have snacks and drinks that are easy to eat when you take a break
Also have a plan for dinner so that after you work on a project all day, you aren’t stuck going out to eat (unless that is what you want to do). Make sure you are staying hydrated and fueled because nothing kills a project faster than low blood sugar. Working on a project while hangry is also a recipe for mistakes (both on the project, and saying something to your partner that you later regret).
4-Take a break and walk away if things get too heated/frustration is high
On our most recent project, I made a snarky comment too soon after we had a setback…my husband was not amused. Maybe 3 or 4 hours later he would have been able to see the humor more easily. Also, remember to give each other a lot of credit for even being willing to give the project a go…not everyone would be willing to try something like this! If a task is physically too hard/a load is too heavy, make sure to tell your partner right away…but give it a try, just in case you surprise yourself with your strength!
5-Celebrate your successes, and compliment each other’s work multiple times
Take plenty of photos of the finished project. We also like taking ridiculous selfies. In the collage below I included a gem from after we built our deck in 2005 (we had to set the camera timer and put it on the deck railing to take the selfie, ha).
