Just a few short months ago, I wholeheartedly felt teaching was my forever profession. I even wrote a post about being a working mom! Being a teacher has always been my calling. I worked with the toughest kids in my school district, and I loved it. Sure, there were really exhausting days, and there were days I was ready to “throw in the towel”. But by the time I pulled into my garage, I was refreshed and ready to head back to school the next day. I was SO convinced I was meant to work in schools, I started working towards my administrative license two years ago. I would puff with pride when telling others what I got to do every day. I would swell when I had successful students able to transition back to mainstream classes.
Imagine my husband’s great surprise when I announced last December that I wanted to stay home after our third baby was born in February.
What was probably going through my husband’s mind, “this lady is crazy, we just spent a few grand so she could get another degree….” What actually came out of my husband’s mouth, “it sounds like you’re really passionate about this, let’s talk more about how it could work.”
I cannot brag enough about the support this man gives me. I just made a huge announcement that will forever change our lives. I just made an announcement that takes away half our yearly income. And his response? Let’s talk more about this.
And talk we did. I talked until I was blue in the face. I prayed like I had never prayed before. Out of seemingly nowhere, I just HAD to stay home with our kids. Every bone in my body felt the necessity to not miss one more baby’s milestones. I couldn’t bear having my third baby take her first steps at daycare. I couldn’t drop the kids off at 6:30am only to miss the next 10 hours of their lives every single day. It had been 4.5 years of doing this, and frankly, I was tired.
Tired of commuting, tired of missing key milestones, tired of seeing my kids for 2 hours a day before I had to get them in bed and tired of making my days about other children while my own were constantly on my mind.
We made the final decision: I would stay home and open an in-home daycare. I would submit my resignation while on maternity leave. I would empty my classroom where I spent hundreds and probably thousands of dollars on school supplies, books and materials to enrich the classroom experience for my students. I would shut the door on a period of my life I never thought I would.
Who am I now? If I’m not a teacher anymore, what am I? Am I JUST a mom? What will others think?
It embarrasses me to realize I had these underlying thoughts about stay at home moms. I didn’t realize how much my career had become who I thought I was.
How do I overcome this perceived loss of identity?
- Identity is not found in our profession. Our profession is not at the core of our soul. It’s time to do a little soul searching and find what makes me ME!
- Be proud of keeping the tiny humans alive. Being a SAHM is NOT an easy job. It can be so draining. Nursing the baby, making lunch and getting the kids to pick up toys while hearing the buzzer on the dryer go off with a sink full of dishes sitting behind me. Each night, I have to praise God that I kept the tiny humans alive. Each night, I go to sleep with a smile on my face.
- Find a hobby! As my friend, Jessica, so eloquently put in her latest post, embracing a hobby can make you a better mom.
- Get over myself and enjoy this season. There are so many seasons in motherhood. I GET to experience this season with all hands on deck. It’s time to get over myself and truly embrace this gift!
I’ve been so blessed with a supportive husband who is completely on board with this new adventure. The classroom will still be there when my kids are grown and gone. So for now, I’m going to enjoy my littles while they’re still little.
