Positive.
Pregnant.
Two words that change everything the minute your read them.
August 2. I took a test, well actually two. Both saying, “pregnant”.
This is my 4th pregnancy. 35 years old. I was done having biological children; I have two healthy girls and one in heaven. I was content and thankful for my two kids and living my life, doing the norm.
Then this happened, and everything changed. Instantly, I was in shock, excited, planning ahead, and dreaming for this little baby. I have a salon in my house, and my husband got to do the Walgreens run for the tests on his way home. I thought it was wise to quick take a test and then go back to work for five hours. No big deal. I don’t even know if held a complete conversation the rest of the evening. My brain and heart were all things BABY.
Knowing how hard pregnancy has been on me in the past, I knew that I had a good 1-2 weeks of feeling good before everything hit the fan.
So I cleaned, organized, and prepared. I adjusted my work schedule, knowing that everything was about to change.
Week 6. OH MY WORD! I become a pile. a zombie. a hot mess.
Three words to describe FIRST TRIMESTER:
- VULNERABLE
- EMOTIONAL
- DEPENDENT
Vulnerable: I can’t get over how this is so true. I am so raw. I need my people. I need support.
Emotional: I can’t get it together. Crying for everything and everyone. ’nuff said.
Dependent: I am usually crazy independent and can put a lot in my day. Not now. I need my Husband more than ever. I need help with the kids, the house, the meals, and everything in between.
Traditionally people keep their pregnancies private until they hit 12-15 weeks for the obvious reasons. For me, it feels so unnatural to keep it to myself. I need the compassion and sensitivity to what I am going through. I need to “justify” my house and kids and lack of meals. I need to celebrate this baby. I started blurting it out right away to people. Random people. Target clerks. Clients. Teens who were are watching my kids. I just went with it!
Now let’s talk about what goes down in the First Trimester……
Nap. Rest. Sleep. Anywhere. Anytime.
I dream of naps. I have fallen asleep on the grass surrounded by 100 teens. Don’t care. I have conked out every time we are in the car for more than 20 minutes. I nap in the morning, I nap in the afternoon. I nap while my Hus makes supper. I sleep on the couch when I put on Netflix. I lay down in the pews at church. Don’t care.
FOOD.
This is the best category. I don’t even recognize the meals that I am choosing and craving. “Anything goes” is my motto right now. My First Trimester go-to’s are:
- Pop Tarts. I buy organic to make myself feel better.
- Frozen pizza or pizza from anywhere.
- Apples.
- FRENCH FRIES. Like every single day. I have gone to every stinking place in town in the past twelve weeks buying fries. Five Guys. Nupa. McDonalds. Tinns. Culvers. The huge bags at Costco. Yup. Shameless.
- Juice.
- Taco everything. Salads. Tacos. Burritos. YUM
- Salt.
- JELLO. Best invention ever.
- Cereal. All the sugary kinds.
Let’s talk what I can’t stand during the first trimester that normally I love.
- Coffee. Gross. Coffee is my love language, and as soon as I am pregnant, I just can’t do it for the first three to four months. Depressing. I can keep down chai’s, though. Thank the Lord.
- Veggies, especially raw vegetables. Can’t. Do. IT. Nope.
- Meat. The smell of the hamburger cooking. DISGUSTING.
- Garlic. Repulsive.
- Eggs. Oh my word, this one puts me over the edge.
Have I mentioned ACNE? With all my pregnancies, my NECK goes haywire and breaks out. What in the world? My entire jawline and neck hate me during my pregnancies. Nothing like slapping on concealer on the neck, always looks yellow. SUPER.
Body Tenderness. As in EVERYWHERE. I am going to just leave it at that.
Hot Flashes. Is this a thing? I can’t handle how hot I get. I need the window down or the AC on always. I have to have a fan on me when I sleep.
Dizziness.
Shortness of breath. I have literally gained a pound at this point, but here I am huffing and puffing up the stairs. I find myself sighing out of nowhere. I laugh to myself, thinking of my own dialogue, “Life is hard.” Ha.
VOMITING. This, I could write a book on. I mean, seriously, the places I throw up. I have had to pull over in so many parking lots, roads, or make a quick run to bathrooms. It is classy. I get sick of out nowhere. No warning. It is a miracle I haven’t thrown up on someone yet.
Constipation. Use your imagination. I don’t need to explain this one.
Advice I have for the mamas out there in the same boat or just starting to row their boat.
- ASK FOR HELP. I am so overwhelmed with gratitude for my tribe. My neighbors, friends and family are truly amazing.
- Slow down. Block out time to rest. Go to bed. Growing tiny humans is exhausting.
- Talk about it. Don’t keep it in. You are not alone.
- LET GO. Who cares about the mess in your home? Let your kids skip a day getting bathed. Just LET GO.
- Laugh at this stage and season. You can’t make up what goes down in this first trimester. It is no joke.
- Stock up: Get ice packs, candies to suck on if you are nauseous, and have saltines and 7-up on hand.
- Wear Spandex. I love my leggings by day and sweats by night. I don’t have time for denim. It is a thing of the past. No thanks.
- Document. Write. Journal. Vlog. Take pictures. Cherish this. You are creating a baby.
- Hang out with mamas that have babies and remind yourself, THIS TOO SHALL PASS.
Don’t worry, when your first trimester is over, you move on to new mountains. It is called the 2nd trimester.
You will be hearing back from me in 12 weeks 😉
Signing out,
one tired and thankful mama.
