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Rochester Local

How I Get My Kids to Use the “B” Word

My children are signed up for exactly ZERO summer camps this year. We have days and days of the calendar that are empty. We don’t even have any finalized plans for a summer vacation. Are we friendless? Did I forget to read The Ultimate Summer Bucket List? Am I out of ideas? Nope. I’m trying something new this summer.

First, before we get off on the wrong foot and you think this is my natural parenting style, let me assure you I am about as Type-A of a mama as you can get. I own a laminator. I am ONE with my laminator, people. Nothing makes me happier than my lists except for maybe when my lists are laminated. In past summers I have made my children binders with daily chore charts, reading logs, book report forms, and journaling pages. We made our own summer bucket list. We put all sorts of amazing things on our summer schedule from day trips to vacations. We created, walked in nature, saw friends, read stories, and made great memories over these summers. I want to be clear that these were wonderful days, and there is nothing wrong with this way.

I want this summer to be different. This summer I want to let my four children (ages 13, 10, 3 and 3) lead the way. I want to follow them wherever their imaginations and our mini-van can reach. And that means, well, not being me. It means not planning every minute so that they can. It means setting up an environment and providing resources, but not being The Director. I also want them to get to using the “B” word on a regular basis. You know the one. It is delivered in a certain voice similar to the screech my 1989 Honda Accord made once right before it stopped working on a major street in the middle of Omaha. “Mo-oooom…I’m so Bored!!!” Because I believe strongly that kids need to be bored. Bored out of their cute little minds, because right after they realize you are not going to fix it for them, the most amazing things can happen.

I armed us with a well stocked art cart, Rochester Public Library cards and a Minnesota State Park pass…and I waited.

The first week went exactly as you imagine. The older two kids stayed up too late, slept in too much, and consumed too much media. I just watched and let the preschool-aged twins lead me on backyard adventures. By Friday one of the older two suggested a trip to the library, and we left laden with stories and “research” for a summer vacation to Yellowstone National Park. By Sunday, the big kids had apparently had enough. I watched (perhaps somewhat smugly) as they dug out some empty binders and created their own schedules. On Monday they were both up by 8am and out the door together for a run, because they had decided that they should try to get some extra exercise.

This experiment has been very fruitful so far. It has allowed my younger ones to have a hand at “bossing” all of us around. The looks on their faces when they come up with what someone thinks is a “Good Idea” is priceless. You can tell they feel like valuable contributors to the family. My older ones have wallowed in the depths of too much media and bad sleep schedules and come out on the other side. Watching them go back to the lessons we have taught them for balance and healthy bodies has also been very rewarding. My son has spent hours creating with items out of the art cart. I might mention that no one has asked me for the laminator, but I am still holding out hope.

The very best part of our great summer experiment has been when one of them asks me the age-old question, “Mom, what are we going to do today?” because instead of reciting the scheduled events for the day I get to say, “Whatever you think we should try!”

 

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