It’s no secret our society currently praises busyness, having ‘everything under control,’ perfectionism, and complaining/shouting every problem and mistake from the rooftops.
And sadly enough, every mother knows that everything from that list above seeps right into motherhood, both online and in person.
It can be the tallest of hurdles to shift our thinking away from that negativity toward instead shining a light on the positives that arise from our varying circumstances.
Before I dig any deeper with this, however, I want to be very clear about the aspect I’m addressing (and what I’m not).
Motherhood is the wildest of rides. It encompasses life-altering moments, crazy moments, precious moments, tragic moments, the sweetest of moments, hilarious moments, and everything in between – sometimes all sprinkled throughout one day. Having someone to share these moments with is essential. Venting is vital. Struggles and feelings of frustration, loneliness, and loss happen to us all (and no struggle or feeling is less important than another’s). I can’t stress enough the value of being authentic with these attributes and expressing them appropriately.
Yet in addition to those difficult, challenging times, we are so fortunate to also experience beautiful times. Graciously, those wonderful times really can overshadow the lousy ones.
My first year of motherhood was incredibly hard, for varying reasons. And at the very same time, it was a year filled with more joy, happiness, and love than I’ve ever experienced elsewhere. Those “opposite” feelings collided right at the intersection of motherhood.
I quickly discovered, however, that when I would talk to some moms about parenting, nearly every positive comment was accompanied by either a caveat on something negative or weighted with guilt for enjoying an aspect of parenthood.
It was rare to find a peer who would share her wins with me, unhindered.
And thankfully, in this short time I’ve been a mother, I’ve learned there is always something beautiful lurking amongst the mess.
We live in a noisy world where negativity can be found at every turn. But it is a universal truth that each mama gets to choose how she reacts to life, how she interacts with her family, and what she will remember about these fleeting, precious days.
So please let me remind you today…
There is no shame in enjoying motherhood.
You don’t need to add a caveat or explanation to every positive remark you make about yourself or your child.
You can (should!) authentically, proudly share the unique things you love about being a mom.
We have the privilege of encouraging other moms who are going through tougher times (joy really is contagious).
You can leave behind the filters and the staging and simply live life with love.
