This was not on purpose. You know those parenting moments when you promise empty consequences just to make the screaming/fighting/scratching/meltdowns fortheloveofGod stop? This was one of them.
“If you two don’t stop fighting over that thing, the iPad is going on vacation!”
Well. They didn’t stop. As a firm believer of following through and more honestly being super pissed, I literally ripped that iPad out of 4 tiny hands and stormed upstairs to find the best hiding spot ever. What ensued was ungodly. Two of the most violent meltdowns you’ve ever seen. Throwing themselves on the floor, kicking, screaming, crying, begging, and who knows what else because I was upstairs contemplating locking myself in the bedroom for the afternoon. That’s when I realized, “Whoa. I just took away the iPad, my saving grace when I have to shower, meet a work deadline or take a deep breath. Dangit. Why did I do that? But also wait a minute. They are having complete meltdowns because I took away AN IPAD. Only an iPad. A stupid electronic device. That’s pretty scary.” And then and there I was determined to keep that iPad away for two full weeks.
Oh boy, the first couple days were at best super annoying and at worst just terrible. The persuasion by my 4-year-old was award-winning. “I will not back down,” I kept telling myself. Only 13 more days, and I will slowly work it back in at quiet time and only on timed blocks.
But the weirdest thing happened. After 10 days, THEY COMPLETELY FORGOT ABOUT IT. My tired answer “The iPad is at the beach.” must’ve really worked (although a lie, I might add.) And the questions “Why is the iPad on vacation?” and “When is the iPad coming back?” subsided. And when the two weeks were up, I added another two weeks. Which then turned into months. The iPad has been successfully at the beach for six months, besides one brief visit for research. It did not go well.
I noticed my 4-year-old would become so much more whiny and grumpy with it around. Not just after screen time but at all high-stress times during the day; bedtime, dinnertime, leaving the house, etc.
During my research, I contemplated one main thing: get another iPad. This would allow each of my kids to have their own. This almost won out, but my cheapness just wouldn’t let me do it. Ugh. So off it went again, back to “the beach.”
Another surprising thing happened with it gone. They started playing. Like with toys. Now this doesn’t last very long, I might warn, and takes more work on my end to offer other activities like coloring, gluing, legos, eating (I have boys), but it’s kind of worth the lack of fighting, whining, and begging.
We also realized our Apple TV is a good substitute. The same behavior we saw with the iPad, was not at all how they are with the television. They play while watching a tv show, which was a stark difference with iPad time. The 4-year-old would literally not move if he had the iPad in his hands.
We have no plans for it to return from it’s blissful vacation. I hope it’s enjoying itself. It got quite beat up around here. The evidence:
For the record, this is a judgement-free zone and I would never fault a parent for tablet use. The contrary actually, good for you! It works for your family! I wish it did for us. I’m sure we will reassess when they get older, but for now I’m thankful for gullible children and tall underwear drawers… er I mean far, far away beaches.
One rare moment prior to the iPad’s vacation:
