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Rochester Local

My Mom Squad-A Journey of Beautiful Friendship

adult friendships, best friends, encouragement, girls night, girls night out, honesty, lonely, making mom friends, mom squad, Mom-Friends, neighbors, new friends, new mom advice, new season, pregnancy, pregnant friends, rochester mn, support system, time for mom, work friends, work friendships, working mom

Alone. 

I’m 25 and living in the small town of Stewartville where I grew up. I should have night out after night out planned with my large group of friends! But I don’t. My friends are scattered across Minnesota and Wisconsin. We get together a few times a year, maybe more, if we’re lucky. We phone, we text, we Facebook, but it’s not the same.

Fast-forward a year-I have my first son. Breastfeeding is hard. I haven’t slept in months. I cry a lot. My husband and family are so supportive, and my friends sure try, but it just isn’t what I need. They don’t understand what I’m going through. I’m the first in my friend group to have a baby

I made my way through that first year of Charlie’s life. I started a new job teaching in Austin. My life was my husband, my son, my family and our church. It was a beautiful life, but I was missing something.   

Then my world changed…

Work Friends.

My first year teaching at Austin High School, I slowly became friends with our school psychologist, Danielle, and one of our mental health practitioners, Aryn. I knew instantly that I wanted to be friends with them, but how does a 25 year old go about doing that?-“Do you want to be my friend?”….no, that sounds desperate… “Want to come play with me?”…no that sounds w adult friendships, best friends, encouragement, girls night, girls night out, honesty, lonely, making mom friends, mom squad, Mom-Friends, neighbors, new friends, new mom advice, new season, pregnancy, pregnant friends, rochester mn, support system, time for mom, work friends, work friendships, working momeird….Ok, seriously, how does one initiate the adult friendship conversation? 

It started with the occasional happy hour after work. Then it turned into girls’ nights here and there. Pretty soon we were getting together regularly (manicures, Bruins games, co-ed kickball team, couples nights). We were a “group”! 

We were there for each other. When I went through my miscarriage, these two were my rock. They helped me through those first few weeks of school even though I wasn’t sure I was going to make it. Sure, I was a mom already, but these two gave me the freedom to be a mom first and a friend second. I never felt pressured to ditch my kid for them. They invited him along! It was refreshing, and it was just what I needed at this phase in my life. 

Pregnant Posse.

Then, the seemingly impossible happened. All three of us became pregnant and were due within adult friendships, best friends, encouragement, girls night, girls night out, honesty, lonely, making mom friends, mom squad, Mom-Friends, neighbors, new friends, new mom advice, new season, pregnancy, pregnant friends, rochester mn, support system, time for mom, work friends, work friendships, working mom months of each other! When we waddled around school, our co-workers would chuckle. When we’d go out for non-alcoholic girls’ nights, our husbands would joke about our little pregnant posse. 

When we couldn’t sleep at night because our bellies were too large or we had just visited the bathroom for the 5th time, we would text our insane questions that only a tired, pregnant woman could come up with at 2 in the morning. 

And when all three of our pregnancies ended in c-sections for three completely different reasons, we were all there to love and support each other through the disappointment and discouragement. (side-note-if you’re going to have a c-section, you NEED to have a friend like Danielle! She had the most wonderful list of do’s and don’ts and what to expects! She sent it to me minutes after I sent word that William had arrived in this world via unplanned c-section.)

Mom squad. 

Freya came in October; William unexpectedly arrived a month early in December, and Lucas joined the gang in January. These three beautiful babies did not come with instruction manuals. Yes, I had a son already, but for some reason, everything was SO different with William. Our group text was always buzzing. And when I say always, I mean ALWAYS. 5am adult friendships, best friends, encouragement, girls night, girls night out, honesty, lonely, making mom friends, mom squad, Mom-Friends, neighbors, new friends, new mom advice, new season, pregnancy, pregnant friends, rochester mn, support system, time for mom, work friends, work friendships, working mom, 9am, 1pm, 6pm, 11pm….any time of day, we were texting. We were asking questions, we were begging for guidance, for support, for friendship in what can be a very lonely time. No, contrary to popular belief, maternity leave is not a vacation. It is beautiful, life changing, but so very hard! 

When I hadn’t showered in days, the baby was nursing every hour for around 45 minutes each, and my 3 year old was throwing tantrums that would throw Mary Poppins to the curb, my mom squad was there. They gave me those words of encouragement I needed. They gave me permission to allow a little extra screen time while I adjusted to nursing and Charlie adjusted to being a big brother. They gave me permission to admit that I couldn’t do it all and that I could ask for help. 

Honestly, I’m not sure how I would have survived those first few months without my mom squad. Sometimes, you need another mom to “tell you like it is”. If my husband said the things to me that Danielle and Aryn did, we may still not be on speaking terms. It’s different. You need your mom squad for those hard conversations. 

Toddler Toting Mamas 

We are well over a year into our sweet babies gracefully, and William not so gracefully, entering the world. Our friendship is still as thick as ever. All three of us parent in very different ways, but we give each o adult friendships, best friends, encouragement, girls night, girls night out, honesty, lonely, making mom friends, mom squad, Mom-Friends, neighbors, new friends, new mom advice, new season, pregnancy, pregnant friends, rochester mn, support system, time for mom, work friends, work friendships, working momther the grace to parent as we will. We get together monthly with toddlers in tow, even inviting others to join our mom-squad when they can!

I still am so amazed at how God put these women in my life. How lucky I am to be blessed with friendships like theirs. 

I hope you’re able to put yourself out there to meet other moms in our area. Connect with our neighborhood group program; attend a function, such as Bloom, or Moms Who Happy Hour. Who knows, your mom-squad may be out there waiting for you! 

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