I admit it: I can be a Negative Nelly.
Honestly, I’m not sure at what point in my life this started, but over the past few years, it has definitely become more prominent at times. Let me explain.
I’m not talking Negative Nelly as in “the world is going to end, we’re all doomed!” Negative Nelly comes out when I’m having a bad day, which turns me into a complainer, and can lead to me having a bad week. I had one of those recently actually – a bad week. Discomfort from the final trimester of pregnancy and the onset of a cold carried over to work, which turned work stresses into colossal inconveniences, which turned me into a marathon vent-er aka an acceptable term for complaining about anything and everything, from the dead squirrel carcasses on our street to the weather’s indecisiveness.
It’s a horrible, unacceptable pattern to fall into. Not only does it affect me and how I view the things and people around me, it also affects those who live and work closely to me. And frankly, I no longer want to be that person.
After much reflecting, I’ve decided I need to do some things to stop this pattern. Being a Negative Nelly for a few minutes is a few minutes too long, let alone multiple years. I’ve also become keenly aware of how our daughter picks up and emulates on not only my mood but the way I do things. I do not want her to grow up to be a negative person.
So I’ve come up with some tangible steps to help me move out of this.
- First, I will not talk negatively about another person. If I would not say something about someone to their face, I will not say it to others. (Tip: this is good rule of thumb all around.) I already try to do this, and I’m successful most times, until I get into my ruts. Then I justify whining about them to those close to me. If I hold I a grievance against someone, I shall pray about it first, then, if I need to, I will bring it up directly with that person. And if I’m participating in a conversation and it steers towards talking negatively about someone, I will leave or ask the others to please refrain.
- Piggy-backing off of that, I need to do more to affirm those around me. If someone does a good job, I will let them know that. If I like someone’s scarf or shoes, I will tell them. If someone is having a bad day, I will reach out to them.
- And speaking of whining, I will do it no more. In any situation where I feel I have the right to whine, I will instead choose to state three positive things I see in the situation. I’m hoping by the time I think of the third thing, they will outweigh whatever negative I was thinking of. If not, I will think of three more.
- Lastly, I will choose to see the positive in all circumstances. This will be hard sometimes, because truthfully, I’ve found it’s easier to point out the negatives. But I will try my hardest to choose to be positive. And you know what they say: practice makes perfect. So I will practice this day by day, moment by moment.
As I reread this, the Negative Nelly in me thinks “this sounds so fluffy” and “is this really attainable?” I’ve seen how the negativity has sown its way into my life, and I don’t want to do that anymore. So what’s the harm in trying this, right?
I’m hoping those around me will start to these attempts be fruitful in my life. I’m hoping that I will set a good precedent in my children’s lives.
Have you found some tactics in your life that help you to be a more positive person?
