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Rochester Local

What The Parenting Books Didn’t Say About The First Six Months

Oftentimes, I think back to when I was pregnant and remember feeling how the days and months seemed to drag by so slowly. I remember meticulously tracking the days which eventually turned into weeks, and keeping up to date with how our daughter was growing in utero. Looking back, one of the reasons time seemed so slow was because my husband Matt and I were very anxious to meet our daughter. It seems that the quicker you want something to arrive, the longer it seems to take to get here. Plus, having to count pregnancy in weeks made things seem even longer. I mean, doesn’t “twenty-four weeks” seem more drawn out than “six months?”

Then, since our daughter’s birth, time hasn’t seemed to slow down. We just celebrated six months of her life here on this earth and we are in awe of the tiny human she is becoming.

six month old babies, ages and stages of child development, what parenting looks like in the first six months, what parenting books don't tell us

During my pregnancy, Matt and I did a lot of reading to prepare us for our daughter’s arrival. We also took a few classes and sought advice from friends who were parents. Some of the things we learned, we were able to remember; others slipped our minds (thanks, sleep deprivation).

Six months in, I want to share some of my biggest revelations from this parenting life.

1) You spend a lot of time just looking at and admiring your baby. I learned rather quickly that the whole “sleep when baby sleeps” thing is very wise, but sometimes, I would forgo sleep just to look at her. She is so beautiful! The first few weeks after she was born, each time I looked at her, I was caught with wonder anew at the fact that she was ours! Oh glorious day, she was ours! Nowadays, I look at her and think “Wow, we made that tiny person; how magnificent.” I pray often that I never lose my sense of awe at the beauty that is our child.

2) You kind of just get used to the whole sleep deprivation thing. It is well-known among my family and friends that I loved to sleep. Pre-baby, I was not a morning person, and if someone gave me the opportunity to go to bed early or go hang out with people, eight times out of ten I would happily say “goodnight!” and call it an early night. But this was all pre-baby. I remember having a mini panic attack about three weeks after our daughter was born when I realized how much I wasn’t sleeping. Thankfully, I also came to the quick realization that it was all worth it, and I can sleep when she’s 18, right?

3) My love for my husband has deepened in ways I never thought it would. I am so, so thankful that I do not have to do this parenting thing on my own. (To all the single parents out there, you are all superheroes!) I knew how selfless my husband was before we had a baby, but he has proven himself beyond all of that since our daughter’s birth.

He helped me walk to and go to the bathroom at all hours in the days following my c-section; he got up in the middle of the night to help me with feedings; he patiently listened as I cried, then got angry, then laughed, then went back to crying over and over again because, well, hormones; and even after he went back to work, and I was still on maternity leave, he would get up early to take care of our daughter on weekends so I could sleep in. Seeing even more of his selfless nature and the deep love he has for our daughter made me so thankful he asked me to marry him.

4) Babies become more fun as they get older. When our daughter was a newborn, she cried, pooped, ate, slept — typical newborn behavior. It’s all very cute and a wonderful time that I would not have changed, but I appreciate the changes that occur as she’s getting older. Now at six months, she’s laughing, trying to crawl, playing with toys, and my current favorite, eating solids! Her faces and expressions as she tries different foods is a joy to watch!

six month old babies, ages and stages of child development, what parenting looks like in the first six months, what parenting books don't tell us
Photo by M. Knutson ©

5) It really does take a village. I don’t think I fully understood the meaning of this saying until after our daughter was born and all of a sudden, all of our energy and brain power was put towards keeping this tiny miracle alive. Our village stepped up in ways we couldn’t imagine: My mom came and stayed with us several times and helped with simple tasks like laundry which became daunting with lack of sleep. Friends brought meals so we wouldn’t have to cook. Other family offered to watch her while we napped. And those who weren’t able to come because they lived too far offered prayers for us, sent us gifts, and encouraged us with kind words. Our village was fantastic!

 

The first six months of parenting have definitely had their valleys and mountains, but I am thankful for each and every experience. Frankly, I’m looking forward to the rest of our lives!

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