Have you ever been in a season of life that, for whatever reason, your heart just isn’t in it? I’m sure you have. You might be there now. Maybe we’re too busy, overwhelmed, depressed, tired, stressed, or just feel blah every day. We go through the motions and keep slogging, but nothing feels right. Sometimes, nothing feels at all.
During these seasons–on top of my heart not being in it–I tend to also feel crushing guilt because my heart isn’t in it. I feel horrible for not giving 110% or even 85%. This guilt comes from a good place: I feel like those around me deserve my very best, not my mediocre or my bottom-of-the-barrel. But what it does to me is bury me even further, under the weight of my own unrealistic expectations of myself. No one can crush me quite like I can crush myself with guilt.
Let’s say for a moment that we offload our expectations on ourselves and see what happens. Say I don’t make healthy, homemade meals for a couple of weeks. We eat frozen pizza and mac & cheese and hot dogs. No one goes hungry. We still sit together around the table, and talk about our days and eat together. And because I’m not stressed out after trying so freaking hard, I might be a little lighter and conversation a bit more fun. Say I don’t read the stories with the same animation, or say I allow the kids to have a little more screen time. Say I halfheartedly sit on the floor and let the little guy throw blocks across the room for 30 minutes because he’s entertained and I’m tired. What happens then? In their eyes, Mom is still reading them stories and playing with them. Their needs are still being met.
The reality is, I’m not a robot. I cannot function at 110% every day or even half of every day. And maybe that’s ok. Maybe sometimes, showing up is enough. Just like doing one load of laundry, instead of the 3 planned, is still better than zero. Just like wiping down the counters and running the dishwasher, while not a full clean, is better than nothing. When your heart’s not in it, “good enough” is just that- it is good, and it is enough. It keeps the basic things functioning, it keeps the wheels turning, and it keeps the momentum going forward, no matter if it’s only by inches.
Just keep showing up, even if you’re tired, and overworked, and undervalued, and over-stressed, and under-appreciated. Keep showing up, even when “self-care” looks more like buying a new can of dry shampoo than getting your hair cut and colored. Keep showing up, even when “Me Time” is buckling all the kids in the car and then standing outside and breathing (heavily) for an extra 90 seconds before opening the door and getting in.
Keep showing up even when your heart isn’t in it. Seasons don’t last forever, and this won’t either. Good Enough is good, and it is enough. We’ll find our spark again.
*If you aren’t finding your spark again, or if friends or family are noticing you haven’t been yourself in a while, please seek help from a doctor or counselor. None of us has all the answers, and there is wisdom in asking for help.*
