5 Things I DON’T Do As a Mom


mom and babySometimes as Moms, we have entirely too much stuff on our “to do” lists. I don’t know about you, but I have to put “make a list” on my list so that I don’t forget things! Lists on lists on lists of things we have to do. So allow me to share with you some things that I intentionally choose NOT to do.

Now, some of these things might be things that you actually find enjoyable, or really want to do. That’s okay! My “to NOT do” list will look totally different than yours. But I think we could all benefit from choosing a few things that are just not priorities to us or our families, and ticking them off our lists permanently.

#1: Elaborate Birthday Parties

I just can’t, you guys. I’m not a party planner. I don’t enjoy hosting large groups. To be totally and completely honest, the thought of a bunch of other people’s kids running around stresses me out. With Pinterest Parties on the rise, I think we can put some heavy (not to mention pricey) expectations on ourselves for our children’s birthday parties. If I did that to myself I would have no capacity to actually enjoy my children on their special days, so I intentionally keep things small and simple. We’ll see how this one changes as my kids get older, but for now, themed decor and huge professional cakes are something I just don’t do.

#2: Class Gifts/Snacks

I’m sorry, my son’s preschool class. I know all the “good moms” bring cute themed snacks, Valentines for everyone, or holiday cards for the class. I, on the other hand, once signed up to bring a healthy snack to school and grabbed a bag of baby carrots on the way out the door. And I last-minute bought some coffeeshop gift cards for the teachers for the holiday break (I actually highly support teacher gifts. They are rock stars. I just forgot!) I can barely remember to send my own siblings happy birthday texts, so I definitely don’t put anything on my plate that I am sure to forget and then feel bad or get mad about.

#3: Go To the Gym/Planned Workouts

Okay, so at this point I’m probably just starting to sound lazy. But hear me out. I love my body. I want to take care of it well. I know what foods make me feel good, and which ones make me feel yucky. I know that I feel better when I move my body often. But, at least at this time of my life, the stress of setting aside specific times to workout would outweigh the benefits for me. In no way am I saying that I want to neglect my own health. I’m just saying that for now, staying healthy looks more like nurturing myself in ways that feel right to me, instead of feeling the need to meet specific fitness goals.

#4: Elf on the Shelf

Nope. Don’t even need to explain myself on that one.

#5: Constantly Entertain My Children

So this last one is actually somewhat of a work in progress. My son is four, and I realized recently that he was showing signs of not being able to handle feeling bored in the slightest. I had gotten pretty used to always providing him with the next option without giving him time to actually be bored and get creative. Of course I’ll still help him get things out to play with if he needs help with something, or fix a toy that’s broken. And sometimes I still do give him specific suggestions of things he could do. But overall, I’m trying to move away from being his constant source of entertainment, and encourage more creativity and initiative. It’s been super rewarding to have him say things like, “What should I do now?…Oh, I know!” Not that we don’t still have our fair share of whining, “Play with meeeee!” But things are definitely improving.


I hope that this list gives you some inspiration to do a bit of “to do list” de-cluttering in your own life! What about you? Are there things that you have put your foot down and just DON’T do as a mom? I’d love to hear!

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Bethany is a wife, mom to Aiden (2015) and Elliot (2018), trained doula, and a bit of a nerd when it comes to birth and babies. She is passionate about intentional motherhood, supporting women as they transition to moms, and really anything that leads to a better life for herself and those around her. She is originally from the Pacific Northwest and loves doing everything she can to help people find crunchy resources here in Med City. She writes about birth and connects with moms through Bethany Birth Services, and gets pretty honest about all things motherhood on Instagram and Facebook. She also spends a ridiculous amount of time drinking coffee, reading books, and dreaming about the day she can travel anywhere she wants to.


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