Adoption has always held a special place in my heart. For as long as I can remember, I always daydreamed about someday adopting a child. The reason for this is because I am an adoptee. I was adopted from South Korea when I was 23 months old and raised in a small town in Wisconsin. Growing up, the dialogue of adoption was always positive in my household, so it just seemed like a natural way I would experience motherhood.
Time went on and I fell in love with my high school sweetie, had a baby, graduated college, had another baby, picked up our family and moved away from all our loved ones to a new city, became an independent mommy, while my husband completed a grueling graduate program, moved to another new city and bought our first house. Although the seasons of my life changed, the hope of someday adopting was always tucked away in my heart.
Embarking on the Journey
In the fall of 2014, I felt compelled to present the possibility of adopting to my husband. This had been a topic of discussion for many years but the opportunity was never right for our family. This time was different. My husband and I agreed that adoption was the next step for our family. We sought out an agency and began the process. We initiated and completed each step of the process until several months later we accepted the referral of a darling baby boy waiting for a family in Seoul, South Korea. More months passed, and more steps of the process were completed along the way. All the while, our hearts longed to be united with the sweet baby we could only love through bi-monthly photos and updates.
Finally, this past summer we were given our court date. Our family prepared to travel to South Korea to meet our little boy for the first time and petition our adoption through the Korean family court system. Meeting our son and his foster family for the first time is a memory I will treasure forever. I’ll never forget the moment he walked right up to me and held my hands and looked into my eyes. The world stood still.
After our court date, our hearts were heavy as we traveled back to Minnesota without our little boy. Our family anxiously waited to hear if our petition to adopt had been granted. Thankfully, it only took a little over a month before we were back on the airplane. That week our sweet child was really, truly ours. Forever.
My Mirror
When I look at my son’s adoption story, I see a reflection of my own story. A heartbreaking story but a beautiful one at the same time. We’ve both known great loss at very young ages. However, we’ve both known great love that transcends flesh and bone. I believe our love was written in the stars long before either of us came into existence. Being able to relate to my adopted son on such a deeply profound level is something that I hold dear.
The Other Side of the Coin
Throughout my life, my view of adoption was through the lens of an adoptee. Now I fully understand another side to adoption. That of the adoptive parent. I’ve always had so much respect for adoptive parents. After experiencing first hand what the process is like, I have SO much love and respect for my fellow adoptive parents. I want to just raise up a three finger Hunger Games salute to each and every one of you. The salute that says, “I feel you. I get it. I know the lengths you’ve traveled and the lengths you’re still travelling. And I know that every step is so worth it.”
Full Circle
Over 30 years after I joined my forever family, my adoption story has taken a beautiful turn. My journey has now come full circle from adoptee to adoptive parent. The whole experience has impacted my identity as an adoptee. I’ve been able to confront feelings I didn’t even know I needed to confront. Now, I feel a sense of closure and sense of peace that I have never felt before. I hope my own experiences can be a tool I can use to help my son understand his own adoption story someday. Until then, I will continue to learn and grow so that I can strive to help him lead a full and happy life.
