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Rochester Local

Why I’m Still Nursing My Toddler

breastfeeding, breastfeeding journey, still breastfeeding my toddler, what works for us, when to wean

Whether you’ve nursed for one month, one year or two years — you’ve probably heard breastfeeding is a tool for bonding. But, “when is enough, enough?”

My 15-month-old son isn’t walking around with a blankie, or sucking on a pacifier or asking for his special stuffed animal. He is waddling to our rocking chair, pointing up and mumbling, “mmmm, mmmm, mmmmm”, signing milk and crawling into my lap. 

We night nurse two-three times. How long should my breastfeeding journey last? 

“The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that breastfeeding continue for at least 12 months, and thereafter for as long as mother and baby desire. The World Health Organization recommends continued breastfeeding up to 2 years of age or beyond.” 

12 months? Two years? What if I couldn’t make it a year – or even a month? 

We put so much pressure on ourselves to follow “what’s normal” or “what we should do” and sometimes, we should just ignore it and do what works for us. 

My dear friend often reminds me:  Gordon didn’t read the baby textbook. If it works for you right now, it works. 

Yes, I want him to sleep 5 hours straight because I’m awfully tired … but, also I love our nightly quiet time. I’m all he needs while we nurse — and that’s satisfying for me. Right now, I get sad thinking about giving that up. 

Yes, it would be convenient (and maybe more fair) if Dad did our bedtime routine. But, Dad isn’t always home for bedtime and when he is, it’s not worth the meltdown and tears. 

And yes, I’d love to grow our family and give Gordon a sibling (I know some people get pregnant while breastfeeding and others can’t) — and I feel conflicted with ‘what the book says I’m supposed to do.’

I turned to my husband in tears the other night and shared, “I’m afraid my breastfeeding journey will prevent me from giving Gordon a brother or sister.” It was a long and hard walk of having Gordon and knowing that Brent wants to grow our family, too, I was prepared to hear:  do you think its time to wean?

Instead, he said, “honey, it’s clear you’re not ready and you shouldn’t stop if you’re not.” 

So, there. 

I’m letting go of the societal pressure to nurse for a set time – or let him self-wean – or force him to wean. I’m going to do what works for us right now in my journey of motherhood. I don’t have it perfectly calculated or figured out and I don’t have to. What a relief! 

I encourage you to do the same.

Regardless of your decision to breastfeed or not – nurse for 12 months or two years – our journeys are unique to us and we’re figuring it out along the way. Guidelines are just that, guidelines. People’s opinions are their own. And just remember:  your little one didn’t read the baby textbook either! Do what works for you and we’ll all mother better that way. 

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