*Forceful Cough*
“UGH NO!”
“Did you just pee your pants again?”
…I did. And I do. Sometimes it makes me cry, and other times, like tonight, I can’t help but crack up at how my pelvic floor has failed me.
Raise your hand if you can relate?
How many times have you thought to yourself, “Did you just pee a little?”
Do you only wear black leggings while working out? Do you only wear dark jeans because you never know when you might cough, sneeze, or laugh to release your bladder?
Have you ever sent your friend a pair of rust Lululemon leggings that you loved, and she responded, “Well, people will know when you pee if you wear those!”? In jest, of course!
Does anyone else sneeze 20+ times when they get full? No? Just me. Great! I eat in fear, knowing that I will have to sneeze and cross my legs simultaneously, so I don’t pee my pants after a delicious meal. The sneezing spells are called Snatiation Reflux, and the peeing is just bad luck post childbirth.
I get that this should be embarrassing, but frankly, it is a badge of honor. I grew a human, who pressed and pulled and stretched my body in ways I had never even thought possible (lightning crotch, anyone?). This human laid on my bladder and lodged his head under my ribs. Thirty-eight weeks later, he said, “World, I’m coming out! But I’m not quite ready. So body housing me, you’re going to need to push for three hours and force me out of this comfy little waterbed!”
After doing something so life-changing, I should have expected the body that housed this miracle would do some strange things. I took on the night sweats, mastitis, an infected toe, and full-body hives in stride. But peeing my pants shocked me more I anticipated.
Before I had a child, I thought this was just something cute that writers added into sitcoms for comedic relief.
*Mom jumps on trampoline*
*Mom looks shocked*
*Mom pees her pants*
My pelvic floor’s failure has been a roller coaster of embarrassment, anger, annoyance, and a little bit of appreciation. My body changed, and so did my life. Adam and I are currently on the journey of trying to grow our family. When I’m lucky enough to grow and deliver a healthy baby and heal after six weeks, an appointment for Pelvic Floor Therapy will be on my list of to-dos!
In the meantime, this funny little quote now takes on a whole new level of understanding:
Happiness is like peeing your pants. Everyone can see it, but only you can feel the warmth.
